I visited my parent's grave today and took them some yellow roses. It has now been a year and a half since my mom died.
I miss her every day even though I don't miss the final year when I was dealing with an Alzheimer's mind rather than my mom's intelligent, kind, and loving mind. I wish that things could be the way they were before Alzheimer's, but they're not and they never will be again.
A lot of things have changed in my life since her death. I have dealt with my own mortality with a serious heart issue and surgery to correct it so that I might try to live a long life as she did. While my doctor doesn't know whether my heart problem was caused by stress, I feel it was.
I don't know about heaven or hell but I hope I will see my parents again someday and embrace them. Until then, I will try to live a life that would make them both proud.